Women Get “Nicer” Feedback — and It Holds Them Back

When it comes to giving feedback, it’s important not only to balance kindness and candor, but to maintain that balance consistently — no matter who you’re talking to. However, the author’s recent research suggests that all else being equal, people tend to prioritize kindness more when giving feedback to women than when giving the same feedback to men. Why is this? There’s a common stereotype that women are warmer than men, leading people both to be naturally inclined to be kinder to women, and to assume that kinder feedback is more helpful to women. And to be sure, kindness isn’t a bad thing. But giving feedback differently based on the gender of the recipient creates problems for everyone. As such, the authors suggest that managers must make a conscious effort to give feedback that’s both accurate and kind regardless of the gender of the recipient. In addition, leaders can audit written feedback on an organizational level for gendered patterns in the tone and content of feedback, helping root out biases that may be harder for individuals to spot. Ultimately, kindness and candor alike are necessary components of effective feedback. It’s up to all of us to make sure we take an equitable approach to distributing both.

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